lithopedian (tweedle_dumb) wrote in wpa,
lithopedian
tweedle_dumb
wpa

Finally! MUSIC!!!

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1. I went back to read along with the lyrics, and I found that you've expanded the song somewhat. If you'd like, you can post the full lyrics here.

2. The tempo is good. I think that with a little refinement, this song would be the sort of thing that I'd listen to during one of my late-night writing sessions. If you ever get the chance to listen to and compare one of Elvis Costello's live demo recordings to one of his final album recordings ("Green Shirts" or "Radio, Radio" for example), you'll see how some simple experimentation with rythm and syncopation can turn a mediocre song into something really compelling.

3. I love the word "mediocre." You get extra points for using it. =)
haha...i need to work on some things with this song, particularly the bridge section...i also need more people to play the other parts, unless i get a multitrack recorder...